Philosophical Giant: Elwood P. Dowd

What is valuable these days? I’m not talking about monetary value. No one should listen to me about fiscal things. I drive an eighteen-year-old Ford Escort. This does not indicate someone with a lot of money, nor does it indicate someone with a whole lot of awareness of what driving an eighteen-year-old Ford Escort is telling everyone around him. Could it be…loser!?
Anyway, I often think what I value is becoming less and less valued by the majority of people walking around on this planet. I harken back (and we all know how difficult it is to harken nowadays) and I’m reminded of the great line from the play and movie about a six foot tall invisible white rabbit, Harvey. The main character is a splendidly happy man. Many people think his bucket of chicken is missing a leg and a thigh, the wick is lit but there isn’t any kerosene, the wheel is turning but the hamster is vacationing in Boca, but others think he may be the only sane one around. He has a line which states what I believe is a very enlightened philosophy: In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.
Before I go any further, let me say I do not wish to denigrate being smart. I am an educator, so smart is very important to me. Intellect is one of the things I fear is being less valued in the general culture. Thirty years ago one of the biggest film comedians was Woody Allen. In one of his movies he said the following: Nietzsche with his Theory of Eternal Recurrence. He said that the life we live, we’re gonna live over and over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. It’s not worth it. Today one of the biggest film comedians is Will Ferrell who says things like: let me quote the late great Colonel Sanders, he said, “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.” The intellectual scales have to tip substantially in Mr. Allen’s favor.
I’m concerned the United States may have fallen more deeply into the Chasm of Dumbness than many places. In England there is a popular televison show called Q.I. It is set up something like a game show where four contestants are asked arcane questions about a myriad of subjects and they are given points based on accuracy and also on how many interesting bits of information they can add to the conversation. In the United States our popular game show has a raft of pretty girls in short skirts holding suitcases full of money. You be the judge.
Back to Elwood’s theory. Even though I do value smart and I hope to continue to increase the knowledge and skills requisite to be a well-rounded human being, I think being pleasant is quite valuable. I am not talking about a person who is so saccharin sweet Pollyanna-esque that you want to run into the path of an uncoming cement truck to avoid prolonging your exposure to him or her. You know the kind I mean. The person who actually believes life gives people lemons for the sake of making lemonade. Realists know life gives you packets of powder comprised of various chemicals and additives which when added to water resembles lemon color and flavor for the sake of making lemonade.
The “pleasant” I am referring to has more to do with caring about manners and decorum as opposed to selfishness and meanness. Here is why I think it trumps smart. If a person is bloody brilliant. As examples, he knows the entire contents of the encyclopedia Britannica, can whistle the collected works of Bach, Tchaikovsky, Verdi, and Marvin Hamlisch, can recite Shakespeare, Cervantes, Pushkin, and Stephen King, and can even rebuild the engine of a 1966 Corvair. If this same guy uses his voluminous knowledge of Hieronymus Bosch’s imagery of Hell to describe your mother, he is not someone you want to be around.
On the other hand let’s look at a person who has the I.Q. of a ball peen hammer. I mean this guy has difficulty pouring water out of a boot, even if the instructions are written on the heel, gets stuck between floors when an escalator suddenly stops working, believes knock-knock jokes are just too complex, and thinks the pinnacle of literary achievement involves characters named Veronica and Jughead. However, if he genuinely worries about you and brings you cheesecake when you are depressed, he is worthy of friendship.