Land of the Free and Home of the Third Degree Burn

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” – Thomas Jefferson, Statesman, Inventor, President
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…” – Emma Lazarus, Poet
“You’d see ‘em wearing their baggies, Huarachi sandals too, a bushy, bushy blonde hairdo, surfin’ USA…” Brian Wilson, Beach Boy
The preceeding words were quotes meant to bring to mind the high values, the sense of freedom, the spirit of the American dream. Well, two out of three ain’t bad.
Just yesterday the United States of America celebrated its 230th birthday (it doesn’t look a day over 215). How do Americans choose to commemorate the birth of a nation built by such brilliant minds as Franklin, Jefferson, Adams, and Madison? What do they do to honor a nation created to give its citizenry freedom unmatched around the globe? What is the celebration for a nation where every little boy and girl can dream of becoming whatever they want to be? There is only one natural choice. We blow stuff up.
I have to admit I have never truly understood the attraction to fireworks so many people have. The big, up-in-the-sky glittery ones are pretty, but the ones people light themselves which make loud noises with destructive force puzzle me. The phrase “playing with fire” usually means someone is doing something unwise. Yet during early July people all over the country intentionally play with fire.
There are certain memories of July Fourths past which always come to mind. There was a man I saw who only had one hand. He was not letting that stop him from participating in the celebration. He had a cigarette in his mouth and he was using the good hand to light small firecrackers on the smoldering tobacco and would then toss them away just before they exploded. This may explain why he only had the one hand.
I know the state of Kansas has taken some guff from the national press about the theory of evolution recently. But it was right here in the Sunflower State I witnessed Darwin’s concept of natural selection at work. There were two young men lighting firecrackers. That by itself is not the scary part. They were lighting their Black Cats as they held them in their hands. Problematic, but not as bad as it got. They would then hold the tube of gunpowder and watch the fuse get shorter and shorter and at the last possible moment they would throw the miniature explosive. Dangerous? Yes, but they were getting it away from their person before it blew up. However, they were throwing them at each other. I averted my eyes and went away from what appeared to me to be impending carnage. Now these young men have probably grown up to be fine upstanding individuals, but part of me hopes since they seem to have missed out on the DNA strand reflecting the sense God gave a goose they did not become parents and pass on that character trait.
Actually, when you stop and think about it fireworks probably do epitomize our country. This is the country of Rock and Roll, so it is obvious we like to be loud. Fireworks are loud. We are a country of ingenuity. What other country would desire the creation of a small disk of an unknown compound that when brought to a certain temperature with the help of a match grows long black snake-like things which leave stains on the driveway able to withstand the elements longer than any paint or siding one puts on one’s house? (Do they still make those things?)
The big fireworks extravaganzas which light up the skies for miles around with their colorful explosions exemplify our nation better than anything. Next year, do not look at the sky, but rather watch the people who are watching the man-made comets. You will see individuals with slack jaws making unintelligible noises, simply vowel sounds which indicate amazement. The powers that be on Madison Avenue know this quite well. Spend big money on something that only lasts a short time yet causes people watching it to become slack-jawed and mesmerized. This concept has caused everything from people buying tickets to yet another movie starring Ben Affleck, products like plastic razors with four blades when three blades were the ultimate just weeks ago and various individuals being put into elected office who many of us would not hire to feed the guinea pig and water the plants while we were gone on vacation.