Who do want to be when you grow up?

What is a hero? When looking at a dictionary we find a description of somebody who is admired because of outstanding qualities or achievements, or we find a description of an impressive sandwich which can also be admired for its qualities and achievements. I think most everyone has someone they wish to emulate. As we go through life the criteria we have for selecting our heroes tends to change.
Looking back I think the first hero I had was Batman. By today’s standards this brings to mind a dark, brooding avenger for justice with a single-minded sense of purpose and an unswerving dedication to serving mankind. I could pretend that is what attracted me to him, but…not so much. I was a devotee of the wham, socko television show with Adam West. This means my hero was prone to walking up the sides of skyscrapers (with cameos from people like Sammy Davis Jr. sticking their heads out the windows), matching wits with grade B has been movies stars playing such villains as Olga, Queen of the Cossacks and Chief Screaming Chicken as well as putting the word “bat” in front of every possible noun in order to make it sound impressive.
“Quick, to the batpole so we can get to the batcave and jump into our batmobile and drive down the bathighway listening to our bat8-track player singing batsongs and have a batpicnic with batsandwiches.”
“Holy get a grip! You’re making me crazy with all this bat…guano.”
I outgrew that.
Like many young boys my next heroes came from the world of sports. I was a big fan of Ed Podolak. He was a running back for the Kansas City Chiefs and he had one of the most impressive games in playoff history. Christmas Day 1971 he racked up 350 yards, running, catching returning punts and kickoffs. He was amazing. The Chiefs lost.
Later I shifted my heroic attentions to the movies. I thought Sean Connery was cool. Why is it Americans think anyone with an accent can play any nationality? Connery, a kilt-wearing Scotsman, has played Englishmen, Arabs, Americans, Russians, an ancient Greek king, and a winged fire-breathing lizard, but the guy was cool with a capital “C” and a capital “OO”, the “l” can remain lower case otherwise it would be ostentatious.
Now that I am a grown man heroes are harder to come by. Comic book characters are no longer viable because the idea of running through alleys in the dark of night pursuing evil doers holds no allure. Actually the idea of running, for any reason, holds no allure. Sports stars are out (see previous sentence). Movie stars are just people pretending to be things they are not. That is not an outstanding quality or achievement because I do that every time I tell my children I’m smarter than they are.
Still we all need people to look up to and pattern our behaviors after as we muddle through our day-to-day life. I have a friend who embodies many of the characteristics I thought I’d like to strengthen in my own personality. He is tireless. He is not only comfortable with all kinds of new technology he is very adept with it. He learns new things, masters them and then moves on to the next thing. He is so capable as a multi-tasker he has lost the ability to do just one thing at a time. I used to say I wanted to be him. Then it dawned on me. I possess neither the energy, the finances nor the mettle to be him. Also, I realized I really don’t want to be all that. It takes up too much time.
Okay, if I am going to figure out who my true hero is I need to get my priorities figured out. What do I truly value?
I value kindness. I value humor. I value intelligence. I value a really good pie. Oh, my goodness! My true hero is the Galloping Gourmet. How embarrassing.
Let’s try that again shall we. I value kindness. I value humor. I value intelligence. I value honesty unless it means you are telling me my weight, how much it costs to send my kids to college or whether I resemble Harrison Ford. Well, that didn’t lead to a hero.
One more go. I value kindness. I value humor. I value intelligence. Oh, my, it was right there all along. My heroes are my father, my mother, my wife and my kids. How boring it that?