One Man's Pain is Another Man's Punch Line

I have worked in the education field for the past fifteen years so forgive me if I use this space for a vocabulary lesson.
Today’s word is schadenfreude. It is a German word. If we do some etymological dissection we find two components. The first chunk is schaden which loosely translates to “damage or harm.” The second chunk is freude which translates to a Viennese doctor who interprets dreams as symbols of repressed sexuality causing people to write check after check to their therapists. So, when we put the two parts together we have a word with the following definition: n. a person who wants to beat up the doctor responsible for pointing out his id and ego are so out of balance even Super Ego (whose mild-mannered secret identity is a cigar salesman – sometimes a cigar salesman is just a cigar salesman) can’t save the day.
Okay, I made that definition up, but the word is real. Schaden is damage or harm but freude is joy. The meaning is taking delight in another person’s misfortune.
Schadenfreude is sweeping the nation. It is bigger than pet rocks, CB radios and Texas Hold ‘em, combined and it will outlast any of the aforementioned fads. Today’s media is awash in it and if you believe that the media is simply giving the people what they want than lots of people want it.
Some examples of schadenfreude are harmless enough. “America’s Funniest Home Videos” has been running on television for seventeen years. That means the baby from the first episode who was seen pushing his birthday cake onto the floor causing his mother to slip on the icing and do a triple Salchow past the microwave followed by a double Lutz against the side of the refrigerator inflicting a grade two concussion is now old enough to drive his motor scooter over a ramp making him airborne longer than Oliver and Wilbur’s contraption and then execute a landing as graceful as a drunk man crossing an icy street which raises the premiums for every single customer of his health insurance carrier. (The previous sentence was ninety-nine words long, a new personal best!)
I admit I do giggle at clips of guys walking into patio doors they thought were open. Projectiles of all sorts making impact with various men’s vulnerable bits is not all that funny to me, but it makes scores of people laugh and is a staple of blooper shows throughout the world. (I apologize to all the men in the audience who just subconsciously shifted uncomfortably in their chairs due to the proximity of the words “vulnerable bits” and “staple.”)
Actually, much of comedy is trading on the misfortune of others. From slipping on a banana peel in silent movies to Daffy Duck readjusting his beak which Elmer Fudd has just blasted with a shotgun to Jim Carey fooling everyone into thinking he’s talented, humor is often laughing at another person’s bad luck. Even the famed philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “What does not kill him makes me laugh.” Okay, he didn’t say that, but he did say, “Humor is schadenfreude with a clear conscience.”
Pratfalls, pies in the face, and a ball peen hammer applied with gusto to someone’s pinky toe (maybe that last one crosses a line) are all just good old-fashioned slapstick comedy. The problem is the news media is pandering to a meaner version of schadenfreude. I cannot see the fascination with brainless Hollywood starlets getting into trouble being anything but taking an absurd pleasure in someone else’s misfortune. Is there any other reason to be spending so much time with cameras pointed at Lindsay Lohan? Well, for some young men there are a couple of prominent reasons they want cameras pointed at her.
Whether you are a fan of Al Gore or not you have to admit a news program exploring the facts about global warming should take priority over whether or not Britney Spears is a good mother. Many people may consider Britney one hot number, but she isn’t melting any glaciers (she isn’t even spelling glaciers anytime soon).
I have a vision that one day everyone will stop taking pleasure in watching others suffer. They will instead see another’s pain as an opportunity to step up and help, making the world a better place. To those of you who think I am an idealist I say nyuck nyuck nyuck as I poke you in the eye. (cue laughtrack)

Christopher Pyle has a new favorite Nietzsche quote (not made up) “Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.” I didn’t know he wrote for Henny Youngman. Contact Chris at occasionallykeen@yahoo.com.