Return to the Blogosphere

I realize due to the extended absence no one may even notice I have started to post again. The great number of things going on in my life seem to always get in the way of writing this blog. I have decided I will start posting my weekly humor column published in the Dodge City Daily Globe newspaper.

I still hope to turn my life into one that spends more time creating than anything else. I have switched jobs back to education. The job takes a lot of energy, especially spending so much time being lied to by eleven year olds. Imum Pancy has been successful. Broken Wind has to be considered a success. The Gunsmoke documentary was a success. We have plans for more projects that should continue the success and fun.

Weekly Column ---
Always before the phrase “It’s a small world” brought to mind that insipid song. You know the one. Once it starts running through your head a severe blow with a blunt instrument is the only thing able to remove it. Note to anyone planning a trip to Disneyland: Do not go on that ride first otherwise it is impossible to enjoy Space Mountain with “It’s a world of hope, it’s a world of joy” slamming around in your mind.
Actually, the phrase is meant to refer to the odd little coincidences in life showing the interconnectedness of people. We have all had those moments. As you are checking out at the local super market the person at the cash register strikes up a conversation. At some point in the conversation you realize you both grew up in the same small town in southwestern Nebraska, you both went to the same grade school, you both had a crush on Miss Sheridan your fourth grade music teacher, but that is not all. You both have the same strawberry birthmark in the shape of the European country, Italy (without the island of Sicily included) showing you were separated at birth and you are not only brothers, but the true heirs to the throne of the ancient land of Zendovia. Well, maybe that only happens to me.
Recently, I started reading the book, The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman. It is a fascinating read. The thesis put forth by Mr. Friedman is the technological and political changes within the last twenty years have made the world flat. The world has been made “smaller” by the communication industries. Information which used to take days, weeks, and months to get from one spot on the world to another can now be shared almost instantly. That is not what he is talking about. The author says the world is being flattened, because people all over the world not only get information instantly but they can use it to build and create like never before. Tasks that used to only belong to the Untied States can be done and done well all over the world. The leveling of the playing field has flattened the world.
If Christopher Columbus tried his voyage today he would use satellite tracking devices which would tell him exactly where he was at all times. If he had any difficulty with the software he could call a helpline and oddly enough it would probably connect him to genuine Indians (not the Native Americans he mistakenly named after a country on the other side of the globe). A great many of the call centers helping people with credit card or computer problems are in places like Bangalore, India. No longer is India supplying spices and exotic goods to the royalty of Europe. Now India supplies young, educated people adopting fake American names and accents, to help little old ladies in Pasadena get their e-mail working again.
My favorite use of the extensive connectivity of the world has to be remote personal assistants. Many people have PDA’s (personal digital assistants) those handheld computers which have calendars, notepads, address books, e-mail capabilities, as well as the most important thing, Tetris. The other day I was attending a church meeting and the senior pastor pulled one of those electronic doo-dads out of his pocket to check a date for an upcoming event. I have to admit I had to wonder if he typed in Deuteronomy 2:15 could he get the passage? Or better yet, was there a Catholic version into which the priest could type the confession proffered by the parishioner and receive the proper penance to be handed down?
Anyway, the remote personal assistant is something big time corporate types are now using. It is an actual person. Let’s say you need a report researched and a presentation prepared for a meeting at 9:00 AM the very next day, it is 6:00 PM the previous evening, and your mind is mush from a tough day dismantling the pension fund of hundreds of life long employees in order to purchase a new jet to get you back and forth to your villa in the south of France. Joe Chief-Executive-Officer e-mails his RPA what he needs. This request is processed in an office in India. The research is done by four recent graduates from the M.I.T of New Delhi and the PowerPoint presentation is created by a computer geek working towards his Ph.D. in nanotechnology. When the goliath of Wall Street arrives in his corner office the presentation is waiting in the inbox of his desktop computer. I’d love that. I just e-mail a humor writer in India and the next day a column is waiting for me. Granted jokes about sacred cows in Dodge City might fall a little flat.