Letter to the Editor

Dear Sir,
I want to express my displeasure about an issue in the Kansas State Legislature. I can't believe these people are spending so much time talking about s-e-x. They should be ashamed of the themselves. I don't think s-e-x should be talked about in public places. However, I am going to have to make an exemption.

The people in Topeka want to outlaw same sex marriage. This is awful! I only know one way to have sex. I have the same sex all the time. If they make this illegal I don't think I can handle it. I can't come up with a new way to do it each time my wife and I want to have relations. Granted it only happens whenever we change the clocks (and the batteries in the smoke detectors) but after we spring forward I will not be able to figure out a new way to fall back.

Those yahoos in Topeka had better come up with some kind of manual if they expect everyone in the state to stop having the same sex. I for one would allow my tax dollars to make some sort of Kansas Sutra to help the less imaginative of us.

Sincerely,
Floyd Christopher Turbo, Jr.

(apologies to my mother who reads this...)

The King is Dead...

I always felt a certain connection to Johnny Carson. He was born in Nebraska. I was born in Nebraska. He started on the Tonight Show in 1962. I started on this planet in 1962. Every anniversary show for Johnny had the same number as the number of candles on my birthday cake. He was funny. I always wanted to be funny. He seemed to have a kind soul. I strive for kindness. Humor for him was never mean-spirited. I find it difficult to make jokes that might be hurtful to anyone. He was a private man. I am naturally shy and value my time on my own, even though much of my work has me in some sort of public spotlight. I have missed him since 1992 and now he has passed.

Why do I feel genuine sadness? I never met him. I only saw him on television with millions of others seeing him at the same time. He wasn't talking to me. That is what made him the best at what he did. His sincerity was visible. For years and years I wanted to be Johnny Carson when I grew up. But no one will ever quite match up to him.

Thank you Mr. Carson for all your time and talent given to so many, and for being a role model I am still proud to publically proclaim.

New Stuff is Happening

As mentioned earlier, I have made the leap to newspaper columnist!

The old Chris, who always down-played any successful endeavor, would say the local paper just wanted a local writer to add more local flavor to the paper. The new Chris, who proudly takes credit for his accomplishments, would say increased confidence in his writing helped him sell his work to a new outlet. Either way (you choose) I am now officially a weekly humor columnist for an honest to goodness newspaper.

The most recent column (number 2 overall) is posted on the papers website at this address:
http://www.dodgeglobe.com/stories/011205/lif_20050112022.shtml

The "Pod of Geniuses" known as Imum Pancy is working towards many new things. Life can be good.

A new year begins...

The year ahead seems to be rife with possibilities. I get to generally manage the Legend with a year under my belt and put more of my own stamp on the game night entertainment. I am continuing with the radio broadcasting of high school sports which is fun and the added experience makes it possible to be a better broadcaster for the Legend. I get to continue the column in the Legend magazine. These things are great fun and allow me to dabble in a variety of things.

The new endeavors look good. The "Broken Wind" script is finished and the pre-production and the shooting schedule should get accomplished in a while. I also will be branching out with the humor column stuff to the Dodge City Daily Globe. Wednesday's "lifestyle" section will start carrying my stuff. Since Dave Barry is taking a sabbatical why not try to fill the void.

Everything that is going well in my life can be attributed to the people I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by. Claudia makes it all happen. The family I grew up in created my sensibilites. Rob taught me how to be funny and to be a friend. Sarah keeps pushing me to create, and helps set the bar high. Seth has provided confidence and made what was only a weak wish into a reality. Thank you to all.